but, look here, this one seems fun and I'm stealing it from dewgirl on account of works sucks and is boring and i hate it
1. Are you an Innie or an Outtie?
2. Have you ever worn bell-bottoms?
I'm not a sailor, you turds. No.
3. Have you ever written a song?
I wonder if 'Zimbabwe' could be put to music.. doubtful. So, no.
4. Can you make change for a dollar right now?
Do you accept purple points? No? Then too bad.
5. Have you ever been in the opposite sex's public toilet?
Numerous times. This summer, almost exclusively. Only a few times for the naughty business, though.
6. Have you ever smelled your own feet?
Well, I don't stick my nose down there, but the smell of foot can be dangerous and fast-moving.
7. Do you like catsup on or beside your fries?
A. It's ketchup.
B. It sucks completely.
8. Can you touch your tongue to your nose?
Sure can. I can touch it to other things too. *cough*
9. Have you ever been a boy/girl scout?
10. Have you ever broken a mirror?
To the best of my recollection, no.
11. Have you ever put your tongue on a frozen pole?
12. What is your biggest pet peeve?
Incorrect use of cellphones.
13. Do you slurp your drink after it's gone?
14. Have you ever blown bubbles in your milk?
Well, when I was, like, 4
15. Would you rather eat a Big Mac or a Whopper?
Ehh, Culver's Butterburger. Cheese, bacon, pickles.
16. Have you ever gone skinny-dipping?
Only in a hot tub. That count?
17. When you are at the grocery store, do you ask for paper or plastic?
They tend to just let me walk out with the case of beer in my hand.
18. True or False: You would rather eat steak than pizza.
If I made it, I'll take the steak.
19. Did you have a baby blanket?
And I still do.
20. Have you ever tried to cut your own hair?
Only from my face!
21. Have you ever sleepwalked?
Not that I am aware of.
22. Have you ever had a birthday party at McDonalds?
23. Can you flip your eye-lids up?
Eyes are gross. Not for the touching.
24. Are you double jointed?
Wouldn't you like to know. Err, I mean, no.
25. If you could be any age, what age would you be?
Ehh. 23 was OK, but living in the today is the only way to make it to the tomorrow.
26. Have you ever gotten gum stuck in your hair?
27. Have you ever thrown up after a roller coaster ride?
I've yet to encounter a roller coaster that serves tequila. So, no.
28. What is your dream car?
1990 Mazda Protege with 1 hubcap, a broken winshield, no emergency brake, a leaking raidator, and windows that may or may roll up.
29. What is your favorite cartoon of all time?
Ren & Stimpy, when John K. did it.
30. Would you go swimming in shallow waters where, one year earlier, a shark had attacked a child?
Sure. I'm not a child. *obvious*
32. Have you ever eaten a dog biscuit?
33. If you were in a car sinking in a lake, what would you do first?
If there are any girls there, I want to do them!
34. Have you ever ridden in an ambulance?
35. Can you pick something up with your toes?
36. How many remote controls do you have in your house?
4 in the dorm room.
37. Have you ever fallen asleep in school?
Amazingly.. not once.
38. How many times have you flown in an airplane in the last year?
Last year.. umm.. zero.
39. How many foreign countries have you visited?
Two: Canada and New York City.
40. If you were out of shape, would you compete in a triathlon if you were somehow guaranteed to win a big, gaudy medal?
I am out of shape, and medals are clunky. I'll stay home.
41. Would you rather be rich and unhappy, or poor and happy?
Given that I am currently poor and sort of happy, I don't think either of these options would be that bad.
42. If you fell into quicksand, would you try to swim or try to float?
I'd try to pull comkilserv in with me, because he's a jerk.
44. Do you ask for directions when you are lost?
Well, I'll generally call someone.
45. Have you ever had a Mexican jumping bean?
46. Are you more like Cinderella or Alice in Wonderland?
Uhhhh... neither of them are properly equipped. I decline comment.
47. Would you rather have an ant farm with no ants or a box of crayons with broken points?
Ant farm. The ants are gross, anyways.
48. Do you prefer light or dark bread?
I prefer my "bread" to come in a bottle. With yeast, barley, and hops.
49. Do you prefer scrambled or fried eggs?
50. Have you ever been in a car that ran out of gas?
Yeah. Tahnks mom.
51. Do you talk in your sleep?
52. Would you rather shovel snow or mow the lawn?
Shoveling is COOL. Grass makes me SNEEZE.
53. Would you rather be bitten by a poisonous snake or constricted by a python?
There are cures for poison, but not for strangling.
54. Have you ever played in the rain?
Define "played".. *cough*
55. Which of these do you think is more dangerous: an angry bear or a hungry white shark?
I'd wager that neither is quite as dangerous as Braden Duszynski after a 12er of High Life and some Jagermeister.
56. Would you climb a very high tree to save a kitten?
No. Cats are stupid and I hate them. I would burn the tree down.
57. Can you tell the difference between a crocodile and an alligator?
Duh. One has two humps, and the other doesn't.
58. Do you drink pepsi or coke?
Coke.. but only if there is rum around.
59. What's your favorite number?
60. If you were a car, would you be an SUV or a sports car?
Sports car. On account of I am a Hottay (tm)
61. Have you ever accidentally taken something from a hotel?
No. But I have on purpose.
62. Would you blow your nose at the dinner table?
All the time!
63. Have you ever slipped in the bathtub?
Actually, don't think so.
64. Do you use regular or deodorant soap?
Irish Spring, baby!
65. Have you ever locked yourself out of the house?
Three times so far this semester.
66. Would you rather make your living as a singing cowboy or as one of the Simpsons voices?
67. If you could invite any movie star to your home for dinner, who would it be?
David Spade. So I could punch him in the face.
68. Have you ever gotten a truck driver to honk his horn?
When I was younger.
69. Which would you rather live with: a huge nose or crossed eyes?
70. Would you hang out with someone your best friend didn't like?
Yes. My best friend is a jerk.
71. Would you hang out with someone your best friend liked, but you didn't like?
My best friend doesn't like anyone.
72. Have you ever returned a gift?
73. Would you give someone else a gift that had been given to you?
I'm famous for this.
74. If you could attend an Olympic Event, what would it be?
Probably the women's 50 fly. They tend to be buff and hot and shit.
75. How many pairs of shoes do you own?
76. If your grandmother gave you a gift that you already have, would you tell her?
Doubtful. All my grandma gives me is 50 dollar bills. I enjoy having plenty of those around.
77. Do you sing in the car?
78. Would you rather jump into a dumpster or into a vat of honey?
Honey. I think I have a movie about this, BTW.
79. What is your favorite breed of dog?
80. Would you donate money to feed starving animals in the winter?
Only if it was dogs.
81. If you were a bicycle, would you be a stingray or a mountain bike?
what's a stingray?
82. What is your least favorite fruit?
That dude from the backstreet boys.
83. What kind of fruit have you never had?
Uhh.. is this a trick question? Do you know how many fruits there are? Crikey.
</b>84. If you won a $5,000 shopping spree to any store, which store would you pick?</b>
Cordio's Liquor Locker
85. What brand sports apparel do you wear the most?
Shirts that they give you for free at the bars are typically not very sporty.
86. Are/were you a good student?
It comes and goes. I maintain that I am too cool for school.
87. Among your friends, who could you arm wrestle and beat?
I'd say control_group .. but he works that area of his body out a lot.. so I'll go, instead, with dewgirl
88. If you had to choose, what branch of the military would you be in?
89. Would you ever parachute out of a plane?
90. What do you think is your best feature?
91. If you were to win a grammy, what kind of music would it be for?
Do they have a Grammy for best bowling celebration?
92. What is your favorite season?
93. How many members do you have in your immediate family?
4, really: me, mom, dad, sister. I think Linda has been around enough to count, though.
94. Which of the five senses is most important to you?
Recently, it's been sound. It changes from time to time.
95. Would you be a more successful painter or singer?
Singer. I'm the next Lionel Ritchie.
97. How many years will/did you end up going to college?
To be determined.
98. Have you ever had surgery?
Yeah, for a ruptured gangrenous appendix. Gross.
99. Would you rather be a professional figure skater or professional football player?
Football. I am a badass.
100. What do you like to collect?
Empty beer cans. Shirts from bars. Change. I used to collect baseball cards.