Lower on the list - much lower, in my experience – would be seven peanut M&Ms.
That’s right, my jolly friends, there are seven errant peanut M&Ms on the floor of the 4th floor men’s restroom in the University of Madison Memorial Union.
There’s a brown one directly in front of the handicapped toilet. There’s a green one under the sink. Two yellows and a red are clumped together behind the second toilet. A second red candy is in the third urinal. The final piece is almost directly underneath the hand dryer; a third yellow.
A bag (empty, nearly full, or otherwise) is suspiciously absent. Did it, or any other chocolates, make it into the trash can? Into someone’s digestive system? This reporter declined to check either.
Potential scenarios for the haphazard positioning of the wasted morsels dart through my head. A miscreant youth playing a bizarre prank? A gentleman burgled while snacking in the restroom, tossing his chocolates into the air when a weapon is produced in his face? A heart attack or stroke victim, similarly tossing the tasty gems into midair as tragedy strikes? A drunkard or mental patient, so far out of their element that they drop the last of their treats haphazardly around our bathroom?
A scenario less puzzling may be the truth, but it does not readily appear.