Woman I want to punch in head: I have a bit of a problem and I hope you can help me out!
Me, the sensible and courteous membership guy: Yes, what is it?
WIWTPIH: I have 3 degrees from the UW and I have never gotten an offer for union membership.
MTSACMG: What's your name, address, degree year, etc?
*looks her up*
NOTE: her most recent degree was a Masters (good for you, lady) in 1978. She doesn't know this, but I (who oversee mailing campaigns, currently) was one year old that year. Oddly, at such an age, I wasn't in charge of much of anything back then outside of pooping my own pants.
WIWTPIH: *doesn't actually ask a question at all, limiting my responses*
MTSACMG: Well, I'm not entirely sure of how our mail campaigns worked at that time (as I was busily soiling my drawers at the time), but I can tell you that right now we send out over a dozen pieces to graduates, including two to each Masters graduate. It is my understanding that it hasn't changed all that much over the years.
WIWTPIH: But I didn't get one.
MTSACMG: As a member of the general community, you could still sign up at our community rates, or sign up as an annual installment member.
WIWTPIH: *still not actually requesting anything* My friend says she didn't get one either.
What I wanted to say: WELL BULLY FOR YOUR FRIEND AND BULLY FOR YOU. WITH 4 UW DEGREES I BET YOU CAN AFFORD 200 BUCKS FOR A MEMBERSHIP. TRAMP.
What I did say: Sorry.
What she wanted to say: I am the dumbest person alive. I apologize for calling you and wasting your time. Please excuse me as I bludgeon myself unconscious with this mallet.
What she did say: *hangs up*