A co-worker has a birthday. Another co-worker is in her last week. Treats are procured for both. They're mainly morning foods: kringles, bagels, pastries, etc.
Co-worker one is ill and is probably leaving to see a doctor shortly. Co-worker two doesn't show up until 2 PM.
No one is eating. No one. I brought the bagels because I WANTED A DAMN BAGEL.
WHO THE FUCK KNOWS? HELP PLEASE.
EDIT: A solution presented itself, and none of you hapless cretins helped at all. Our 19 year old wafer-thin intern came in and ate a bagel, a brownie, a slice of kringle, and took a cupcake for later. I AM SAVED.