first, I have a lengthy (and uncomfortable) discussion with my two late-40s female mother co-workers, in which I describe - using the most inoffensive language I can muster - what the acronyms "BJL" and "DSL" mean. This is brought about, mind you, due to the one of the co-workers noticing that her daughter's cellphone had a new name. To wit: "Sexy BLJ Babe". For those of you scoring at home, she's a 6th grader.
IMMEDIATELY AFTER THIS A GUY NAMED RICHARD HANDS COMES IN TO RENEW HIS MEMBERSHIP
this is a weird day, friends