April 22nd, 2004

ouch

Calmer than you are.

It is much too early to be awake, if you're me.

Sadly, this only hampers MY day, and not yours.

This may be why I don't like you. Don't worry though - I'm pretty sure there are more reasons.



I'M OFF TO THE AIRPORT. BYE.
  • Current Music
    mt. dew
boozin

My FUCKING whites!

It has come to my attention that madisonwi has decided that it's a nifty sort of plan to ban smoking in bars. This is a patently bad idea for everyone, because it goes againt my wishes and, as you know, I am the most important man in the universe.


Mom: We should go to the bars every night between now and July 2005 (when the ban starts) and smoke.

assfingers: I think if we did that, we wouldn't make it to July 2005.

If I had the resources, I'd probably still go along with that plan.
  • Current Music
    West Wing
STEVEN Q JONES

What's a pederass, Walter?

The time has come to welcome mr_bibbers into the LJ fray.


He is, at last check, well groomed and tall. That takes a whole lot of doing, people, and he ought to be congratulated for it as many times as possible.

The disclaimer here, of course, is that "last check" refers to the last time I saw him, which was at heidicron's going away party. Of course, this happened quite a long time ago, as heidicron has not only gone away (as the party suggests), but has been gone and has come back, and has actually BEEN back for quite some time.

Also, at such a gathering mr_bibbers was busy being DJ and getting drunk. And I was busy getting drunk and watching control_group try to score with heidicron... a pursuit which is completely not unlike being a fan of the Milwaukee Brewers, except with less TV commentary and (slightly) less tobacco spitting.
  • Current Music
    some damn ad or some shit
crew

CONDOLENCES! THE BUMS LOST!

Nothing quite like day baseball. Brewers play shortly, and are going for the sweep against the floundering Richie Sexson-led Arizona Diamondbacks.

In this series, Richie has pulled an ohfer, and the "brewerbacks" (as they're being called - the guys we got for him) have more than carried their weight driving in runs, playing defense, getting mad phat loads of hits, and collecting less money than Richie while doing so.

Despite his early-season bravado, am I the only one that wants Junior Spivey out of a Brewer uniform ASAP? Keith Ginter is completely drilling the baseball and is worlds cheaper.

Every time a middle infielder gets hurt (Robbie Alomar, Mark Ellis, Rafael Furcal) I cheer. Every time a middle infielder (Luis Rivas, Tony Womack, David Eckstein) completely stinks, I cheer.

GO CREW
  • Current Music
    pregame!
FIST

The Dude Abides

I have to come clean, here. Today's multiple-posting debacle was a wager. My hand was forced. Don't hate me, hate the pusher.

graye, assumed by many to be a friendly neighborhood Canuck, put me up to this! It's likely he intended to spin it all to his favor, but I won't let it happen! THE WORLD MUST KNOW!

HATE graye


so, given that, what would you like to do to graye?

Run him over with a firetruck.
0(0.0%)
Set his chest hair on fire.
1(4.5%)
Saw off his limbs.
0(0.0%)
Inject locusts into his bloodstream and feed him an oak sandwich.
3(13.6%)
Buy a gun. Take gun to Canada. Shoot graye in the foot.
2(9.1%)
Feed him lots of gummy bears. (He's hypoglycemic or something)
0(0.0%)
Run him through a woodchipper.
0(0.0%)
Throw a bowling ball at his face.
1(4.5%)
Feed him to pigs.
0(0.0%)
Something about pumping. (that's his suggestion) (he's a nutbar)
0(0.0%)
Parachute him over a field of landmines.
1(4.5%)
Just smack him around a little.
1(4.5%)
Punch him square in the face once, and be done with it.
1(4.5%)
Something with fire ants.
1(4.5%)
What's all this negativity? What he did was great! I want to pat him on the back!
5(22.7%)

What major motion picture is the source of today's subject headers?

  • Current Music
    ben ford sucking