MC Gatorade (assfingers) wrote,
MC Gatorade
assfingers

LOLWUT

There are many, many reasons to stay away from the bathroom on the first floor. Sometimes it can’t be avoided. Today a worst case scenario occurred, and I was forced to use the stall down there. Thankfully, this was a standing-only proposition. No sitting required. The entire transaction went down without a hitch.

However, I would not be a good LJer without chronicling for my readers the contents of the stall.

One (1) New Yorker, open to a William Safire essay.
One (1) empty blue bottle of Italian White Wine. The label looked to say something like “Prosecco” but I was unwilling to examine further lest I be beset by a case of the heebiejeebies or (more likely) syphilis.
One (1) blue chapstick container, open, with the cap resting peacefully two inches to the left. These items, like the wine, are on top of the opened magazine.
One million (1,000,000) pieces of cork, presumably the remnants of the bottle mentioned above.

I can only imagine the scenario. The chapped lips and strewn-about cork obviously were a result of having left the corkscrew at home and having to open the bottle with the patron’s teeth. To finish the entire bottle, though, and only read to Safire is open to interpretation.
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